nghtchld's rantz!
Subject: VOTE SubGenius

Organization InfiNet

Just a reminder. Time's getting short. Note the address change.

Dennis McClain-Furmanski ( wrote:

 Uncle Bear has it exactly right. We NEED a SubGenius president this
 term. In fact, we need a LOT of them, to make it harder for THEM to
 kill us all. Why shouldn't we have several? We have tons of Popes.
 Same thing. We can have a whole line-up of them, a veritable
 MysAmerica Pageant of presidents. Even some part-time presidents
 if they're too busy most of the time earning a living or playing
 video games or masturbating to handle a full time presidency.

 So rather than running against each other, I suggest we all run
 TOGETHER. We should ALL set up a votes account at the SubGenius
 Foundation. After all, Jesus needs the work now that he's moved in.

 And I suggest this set-up:

 Whoever gets more yes votes than no votes gets elected, no matter
 how many candidates that is.

 Vote with dollars. One dollar, one vote. It's the Amrricun way.

 Vote for as many candidates as you want, as many different ways
 as you want. It's the SubGenius way.

 That's all it would take for ANY SubGenius to get elected, as many
 SubGenii as want the job. It's not like it's really that important,
 since by July 1998 "Bob" will be proclaimed World Overlord. We just
 have to run interference until he takes control. The fact that it's
 not "recognized" by the Youess Gubmint is only fitting, since they
 themselves are not recognizable, except as cartoon carnicatures.

 And not to snub our overseas Yeti sisteren, bretheren and
 sheheitotheren, they can vote even though they're not US citizens.
 Or they can run for Last President themselves. Or even start up an
 election in their own country, whether or not it coincides with a
 regular election there.

 The time is NOW, children. As of November 5, we'll only have 487 days to
 prepare for The End Times.

 To vote for me, send $1 to
 SubPresident DynaSoar, PO Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214

 To vote against me, send $1 to
 Kill DynaSoar, PO Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214

 For those of you who don't know me well, I adhere viciously to the
 doktrine of the Industrial Church. I refuse all monies myself and pay
 my own way. I even pay my own way into devivals where I preach. I will
 NOT get a cent of this and would forward any money sent directly to me
 on to the Foundation for vote tallying. I DON'T WANT your money.

 "Bob" wants your money and your pstench that's on it.

 I just want your LOVE, your HATE, your SEXHURT and OOZESQUIRT.

 I want to rub, rub, rub and praise "Bob", "Bob", "Bob" in a song.

 Two cars lodged in every carnivorous chicken.

 Two families of pinks in every pot.

                   I WANNA GREET THE X-ISTS!

 MAKE me feel it, children. Make DALLAS feel it. It is only fitting
 that the City That Kills Presidents acts as the Holy Book Repository
 where the Holy Bookies count the chump change and watch the inevitable
 changes come down on the chumps.

                    Shove your money up ME.

 I want to wear The Grin. I want to smoke The Pipe. I want to offer up
 the Place Where I Used to Wear My Hat in the ultimate Slackrifice.

                 Vote for me RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES.

 Elect a SubGenius for Last President of the United States
 To vote, send $1 to Rt. 1 Box 304, Young Rd. Dublin, VA 24084
 For me "SubPresident DynaSoar"; against me "Kill DynaSoar"
 Vote early, vote often, vote for or against anyone you want.

       (@ @)\DynaSoar\___,        Yetii Genetii Research InstiToot
             ll    ll       SubGenius Church of Scienfictiontology
       Clench of The One True Pipe Dream, Terran Occupation Forces
       DynaSoar, Tibetian Rantarian, Chaplain
           'Praise "0100 0010  0110 1111  0110 0010"' -- MWOWM

 [Paid for by The Committee to Killect SubPresident DynaSoar]
 [You want to run, start your own damn committee.]
 [Broadcasters for "Bob", write for details on free tape recordings of
 election lies and candidacy rants, each original and contradictory.]

 Doktor DynaSoar Iridium  --  --  Punctuator of Evolution

Created: 14 February 1998 | Last Updated: October 26, 2000
© Skabo